Not being respected can be terribly humiliating and painful. It eats away at your self-confidence and it will negatively affect your attitude towards other people as well. We often refer to it as bullying among children, but adults can also make each other’s life miserable in different ways.
In all cultures there is bullying and people are oppressed. Apparently it is something that people need. Sometimes it is between the bully and the victim, but almost everywhere entire groups of people are treated as inferior. Often because they have a different origin, colour, gender or religion.
This behavior has major consequences for the self-confidence of a person. It can lead to insecurity, depression, fear of failure, adjustment problems and loneliness. The person who bullies or treats others as inferior is often not sufficiently aware of the consequences of his or her behaviour.
Since the advent of the internet, bullying and putting others down has only become easier. The bully does not have to look the victim in the eye and is therefore hardly inhibited in what he or she says about someone else. This can sometimes have horrifying consequences for the victim, up to suicide.
Why do we look down on other people?
Why do people bully each other? Sometimes it is out of boredom, but usually also out of fear, frustration or jealousy. When bored or frustrated, an easy victim is often sought. Jealousy is aimed at a specific person. Fear can arise from unfamiliarity or a feeling of insecurity and is often the cause of discrimination and class inequality.
Despite their tough behavior, bullies are often insecure themselves and try to get attention through their behavior. Because followers participate in the bully’s behavior out of fear, this is confirmation for the bully to continue.
When we think of bullying we often think of children who are bullied at school or outside. But it also occurs in the everyday life of adults. We just call it gossiping, discrimination, ignoring someone or even abuse of power and intimidation.
Bullying can be prevented at school or at work if the school management or the employer intervene. However, this does not happen in all cases. It becomes even more difficult when bullying or inequality is something that is seen as ‘normal’ in a society. Some people have a lower status or a different color than other people because of their origin.
How do you look at yourself?
If you are bullied or treated as an inferior it can be terribly painful. You can suffer from the effects for the rest of your life. However, you should know that no person is more important than another person. Even if other people want to give you that impression.
One has more confidence than the other. But even people who at first sight are full of self-confidence, actually always have feelings of doubt and insecurity. Even the greatest talents and the most successful people are often insecure. They sometimes expressed it in a way that is at the expense of another. Sometimes very clearly and sometimes without you noticing it.
How you think about yourself rarely matches reality. How you look at yourself is largely up to you! As a result, you can have a much more negative image of yourself.
Also try to think about how you treat others. You may also like to gossip about someone or look down on someone at times.
Causes of uncertainty
Uncertainty can arise in various ways. It often starts early in life. If you have received too little confirmation in the past, or if you have been bullied in the past, this can make you insecure. Even if you have been belittled or others often criticized you. If you have a dominance parent or a very protective parent, you may have become insecure as a result. However, you maintain your insecurity by continuing to think negatively about yourself, as you once taught yourself.
What can you do about uncertainty
If you’re someone who likes to do things right, then you can probably name a lot of things about yourself that you’re not good at. Take a look at how critical you are of yourself. Also list some points that you do well.
Try to make your goals more achievable, perhaps by breaking them down into smaller steps. Reward yourself when you have completed a step. Name what you are good at and also accept compliments from others. Write down for yourself some of those things that you are good at or that others say you do well. Appreciate yourself for the things you’ve accomplished lately.
What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of failing if you want to do something? And what is the probability that that will happen? Name for yourself what can go wrong and how great the chance is that it will go wrong and how bad that actually is. After all, setbacks and disappointments are part of life. Not everything just goes well and we can’t be good at everything. Also, we can’t always be relaxed, confident and happy.
Try not to compare yourself to other people who are good at other things. Everyone has their own qualities, so try to be aware of that.
Steps to a positive and valuable future
As long as you keep thinking negatively about yourself, you will continue to feed your insecurity. You are as important as any other human being. Even if you look different, even if you don’t excel at anything and even if you are part of a family that that may not be of high status. You are not a flaw of nature, there is a reason you are living!
I would like to help you discover why you are really valuable. I was able to discover for myself what is really important in life and I would like to share it with you. Will you join me on a voyage of discovery?